Why I'm ticked at the god of timing
Why is it that the more important something is to me, the more difficult I find it to write about?
It may be because the blogs and journals I read regularly have never delved into the area I want to delve into now while I've been reading them. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of unknown territory and am not sure how to take the first step.
So let's back up a little first and take a flying leap.
Until November of 2002 I was in a serious, long-term relationship. It had lasted nearly three years. It ended. Slowly. Took until January of 2003 to die completely. With incredible stupidity on both our parts.
The nature of its ending hurt me very badly.
"Fuck it. It don't matter. Move on."
That was my mantra.
Over the next six months or so I went out with as many women. Some I told friends about. Others I didn't. Nothing serious. Wonderful people all of them. But no connections. No sparks. Hell, there wasn't even enough chemistry for me to want to kiss any of them. Okay, only one. About a year ago. But that one didn't go anywhere.
Eventually I just said, "Screw it. I'm done with this for now. I need to be single for a while, until I sort some things out."
So I sorted things out. Stopped asking women out. Bitched loud and long about the fact that the only women I was attracted to were ones that were inappropriate to pursue anything with (because of circumstances or what-have-you).
At some point in the last semester I started going to Philosophy Society with Ian. If I haven't mentioned it before, it's an excuse to drink beer, eat curry and talk philosophy in the Grad Lounge at the University Centre.
The first time I went for conversation. Subsequent times also for conversation. But also at least partly because of a cute girl who also went.
At some point I realized that everything I had wanted to sort out, I'd sorted out.
Finally came the last meeting of Philosophy Society and due to a number of things that had gone on earlier that day I sat down with this girl and spent the rest of the night talking with her and a few other people - James and Ian. And found that I enjoyed her company a lot.
Her name is Christa. She has just finished her second year in zoology, a member of Wildlife Club and a number of other groups. Light brown hair and very pretty, with a dancer's figure.
Next week the four of us went to a pub for drinks. A few days later it was to see Big Fish.
That night Christa and I started talking on MSN. Then last Monday we spent the day together. We went to the mall, to the pet store, then to Rogers. We were making a list of movies that she's wanted to see for a while. I ended up going to a surprise party for Christa's housemate that night.
Up until this point I knew I was interested. Had no idea if Christa was. Also had no idea if I had yet again managed to cement myself into the 'friend zone.'
When we ended up holding hands during one of the movies at the surprise party, I was fairly certain I knew where I stood.
Sparks. Lots of sparks.
Over the course of last week we figured out that whatever is going on between us is serious and something we want to pursue.
Oh, did I mention that last Tuesday she moved back to Mississauga for the summer and in two months she's moving to Australia until December?
I said it last week and I'll say it again.
I had better never meet the god of timing.
It may be because the blogs and journals I read regularly have never delved into the area I want to delve into now while I've been reading them. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of unknown territory and am not sure how to take the first step.
So let's back up a little first and take a flying leap.
Until November of 2002 I was in a serious, long-term relationship. It had lasted nearly three years. It ended. Slowly. Took until January of 2003 to die completely. With incredible stupidity on both our parts.
The nature of its ending hurt me very badly.
"Fuck it. It don't matter. Move on."
That was my mantra.
Over the next six months or so I went out with as many women. Some I told friends about. Others I didn't. Nothing serious. Wonderful people all of them. But no connections. No sparks. Hell, there wasn't even enough chemistry for me to want to kiss any of them. Okay, only one. About a year ago. But that one didn't go anywhere.
Eventually I just said, "Screw it. I'm done with this for now. I need to be single for a while, until I sort some things out."
So I sorted things out. Stopped asking women out. Bitched loud and long about the fact that the only women I was attracted to were ones that were inappropriate to pursue anything with (because of circumstances or what-have-you).
At some point in the last semester I started going to Philosophy Society with Ian. If I haven't mentioned it before, it's an excuse to drink beer, eat curry and talk philosophy in the Grad Lounge at the University Centre.
The first time I went for conversation. Subsequent times also for conversation. But also at least partly because of a cute girl who also went.
At some point I realized that everything I had wanted to sort out, I'd sorted out.
Finally came the last meeting of Philosophy Society and due to a number of things that had gone on earlier that day I sat down with this girl and spent the rest of the night talking with her and a few other people - James and Ian. And found that I enjoyed her company a lot.
Her name is Christa. She has just finished her second year in zoology, a member of Wildlife Club and a number of other groups. Light brown hair and very pretty, with a dancer's figure.
Next week the four of us went to a pub for drinks. A few days later it was to see Big Fish.
That night Christa and I started talking on MSN. Then last Monday we spent the day together. We went to the mall, to the pet store, then to Rogers. We were making a list of movies that she's wanted to see for a while. I ended up going to a surprise party for Christa's housemate that night.
Up until this point I knew I was interested. Had no idea if Christa was. Also had no idea if I had yet again managed to cement myself into the 'friend zone.'
When we ended up holding hands during one of the movies at the surprise party, I was fairly certain I knew where I stood.
Sparks. Lots of sparks.
Over the course of last week we figured out that whatever is going on between us is serious and something we want to pursue.
Oh, did I mention that last Tuesday she moved back to Mississauga for the summer and in two months she's moving to Australia until December?
I said it last week and I'll say it again.
I had better never meet the god of timing.
