the end is not yet

It has seemed to me for a while that this blog is rank with arrogance and pride. As a result, I've found it very difficult to sit down and write in it lately.

I don't think I'm arrogant, so the arrogance I see here makes me uncomfortable.

The pride is real though. I'm proud of both the man I am becoming and of the man I already am.

In my eyes, that shines through in this blog. There's a part of me that looks at what I write here and shakes its head. "Why share that?" it asks. It makes me feel as if I boast, or try to make myself out to be someone I'm not. But the fact is, the me I share through these entries is the real one.

I'm not a shy person, but I am a quiet one. I do not speak about myself, my life or my beliefs to many people. Unsurprisingly, even people I've known a long time often get the feeling they don't know very much about me. This blog is an opportunity for me to share myself. I'm not looking for truth with a capital 'T', but for a personal truth that holds for me. And if you get to know me better in the process, so much the better.

The thing is that the blog keeps me honest and keeps me talking when my natural instinct is to keep my mouth shut. I can't lie in it. Not to you and, more importantly, not to myself.

The frank honesty with which I write here has shown me that I am far stronger and more balanced than I ever realized. In a sense, I have chronicled here my return to a life I consider worth living. I will no longer feel bad for sharing it.