Taking the frozen path
Things at work suck and they've sucked for a very long time. This is public, so the details aren't going in. Those don't matter. This isn't about the causes. It's about the effects.
During any prolonged stressful venture that depends on the work you put into it, I've found that there's one point that determines how you deal with the situation for its remainder.
There's a long build-up to this point where you go a little nuts from caring too much. The situation seems to be the most important thing in your life and you divert all your energy into it.
This is the hot phase, where you react like a flame. Everything just acts as fuel.
Things go wrong, you divert more. The situation gets worse, you pour more of yourself in.
The entire time, you're thinking that it can't get much worse. This situation is crazy. It'll let up soon. It's got to.
But it doesn't. And you keep burning.
You think about quitting. But you don't. The reasons change. Sometimes it's because there are people counting on you not to. Others it's because you can't afford to, or you're just too fucking pissed off. Still others the only reason you don't quit is that you've put too much in to do that.
Then you reach that point. The one where you spend days in a rage and when you finally fight it off, one element is missing and you take one of two paths.
Down one, the flames consume you and as far as this venture is concerned, you're ash. There's nothing left. You quit.
Because you no longer care.
Down the other, the flames go out and you freeze over. You keep going, but the stress is gone. You do what you've got to do to finish the task and get on with your life. Oddly, you perform better than you did before. But it doesn't touch you anymore.
Because you no longer care.
During any prolonged stressful venture that depends on the work you put into it, I've found that there's one point that determines how you deal with the situation for its remainder.
There's a long build-up to this point where you go a little nuts from caring too much. The situation seems to be the most important thing in your life and you divert all your energy into it.
This is the hot phase, where you react like a flame. Everything just acts as fuel.
Things go wrong, you divert more. The situation gets worse, you pour more of yourself in.
The entire time, you're thinking that it can't get much worse. This situation is crazy. It'll let up soon. It's got to.
But it doesn't. And you keep burning.
You think about quitting. But you don't. The reasons change. Sometimes it's because there are people counting on you not to. Others it's because you can't afford to, or you're just too fucking pissed off. Still others the only reason you don't quit is that you've put too much in to do that.
Then you reach that point. The one where you spend days in a rage and when you finally fight it off, one element is missing and you take one of two paths.
Down one, the flames consume you and as far as this venture is concerned, you're ash. There's nothing left. You quit.
Because you no longer care.
Down the other, the flames go out and you freeze over. You keep going, but the stress is gone. You do what you've got to do to finish the task and get on with your life. Oddly, you perform better than you did before. But it doesn't touch you anymore.
Because you no longer care.
